1 Nephi 18:1 Clear Direction

"And it came to pass that they did worship the Lord, and did go forth with me; and we did work timbers of curious workmanship. And the Lord did show me from time to time after what manner I should work the timbers of the ship."

At this point in the story, Nephi is commanded to build a ship to carry his family across the ocean.  Nephi is not a shipbuilder, but he relies on the Lord for direction, and those directions came.

The God I worship gives clear direction. It was very difficult for me to make my decision to divorce. I did not make enough money to support myself and the needs of my children. My youngest two were not quite ready to support themselves, even though they were 18 and older. I remember making this decision a matter of mighty prayer. I really wanted God's help and direction and assurance that I was making the right decision. My mom had also divorced, but she divorced out of boredom, and I valued marriage more than that. I needed this decision to be right with me and to be right with God. I remember I went to a holy place often to ponder and think and to try to get an answer. On one particular day, I did get a clear-cut answer: it whispered to me, "There is no other way." That answer gave me comfort, but at the same time it didn’t give me a timeline! What did that mean? It took four more years until I was finally given the confirmation that now was the time. I didn’t use those four years to prepare for the divorce, but looking back now, I can see where doors and windows opened up for me that acted as a preparation, without me even knowing it. I did not give up on my marriage those past four years. I still continued to seek out professional counseling and tried to work things out with my husband with full faith that they would.  I'm so glad I did.  When the time came to take the first step, I needed that confirmation that I did all in my power to make the marriage work and to make myself available to fix whatever needed fixing.  The God I worship gives us clear direction when we ask and when it’s important to us.

1 Nephi 17:30 What I Needed

"And notwithstanding they being led, the Lord their God, their Redeemer, going before them, leading them by day and giving light unto them by night, and doing all things for them which were expedient for man to receive, they hardened their hearts and blinded their minds, and reviled against Moses and against the true and living God."

The part of this scripture that stood out to me was "doing all things for them which were expedient for man to receive."  The God I worship gives us all we need, not necessarily what we want. 

When you are young, you sometimes reflect about the future and what you want out of life.  When I compare those dreams to what I was given, what my life experiences have been, wanted and not wanted, I have concluded that the God I worship gives me what I need. These life experiences and situations have made me grow. They have stretched me in ways that I probably could not have been stretched otherwise. I think it is natural when we have these circumstances and experiences that are unpleasant to want them to stop and end, but I fully believe that we ought to really look at them in a way to see what we can gain from each of these things, to see how we can possibly grow to the best of our ability. I don’t think they are coincidental. I think our life here is tailored with exactly what we need to challenge us. 

For example, I did not like my parents being divorced when I was a small child, it brought much heart ache and loneliness. This is not what I wanted.  Could God have intervened and perhaps softened their hearts to stay together?  Possibly.  But He knew what I needed, and at the same time, honored their choices.  But having known those difficulties, I have become very compassionate with other people who share my experiences. I can let them know that I have walked in those moccasins and I know what it feels like. I can give them tools to find peace in what they have been given. God has allowed these experiences in my life so I can be an instrument in his hands to help others, as well as my own personal growth.  The God I worship gives me what I need, not necessarily what I want.

1 Nephi 17:13 Two Steps Ahead

"And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led."

I know that God can lead us along if we let him.  Part of that is trying to stay as close as possible to Him. That requires trust and faith in a Being that you cannot see -- but you can feel Him.  I cannot enumerate here all the many times in my divorce where I was guided and led due to kind friends and concerned children who would tell me what my husband was up to. This was a very ugly divorce, full of dishonesty and mischief.  Because I knew about some of these things ahead of time, I was able to put myself in a position to protect myself and prepare.   I remember his frustration at times, thinking I was always two steps of head of him. But it literally was like that. I don’t think this was coincidence. I think God was leading me along this whole process.  He led me to a wonderfully blissful promised land, and I feel grateful for His care.  The God I worship will lead us along if we let Him.

1 Nephi 16:16 Being Led to a Promised Land

"And we did follow the directions of the ball, which led us in the more fertile parts of the wilderness."

There's a saying in my neighborhood that you don't find Farmington, that Farmington finds you.  I feel like I was led to Farmington. I had spent the years between the ages of 8 to 17 here.  It was an emotional, turbulent time for me and I looked forward with much anticipation to the day when I would have a choice to move away.  I moved out when I was 17 years old, just having finished high school and  I had no intention of ever returning, except for the occasional family visit.

I fled to San Jose, California to spend some time with my dad, and it was in the San Jose area that I met my husband.  After a year in the Bay Area, we moved to Sacramento so we could buy a home.  A few years later when we had our first child, we felt like we couldn’t afford California anymore.  We looked at two places, Utah where my family was located and Washington state, where my husband's family now lived. We were kind of leaning towards Washington, but my husband's job interviews didn’t go well. My husband had not finished his college education, and never intended to, so his career choices were slim.  We also knew Washington state would be a little more expensive than Utah, so we turned our attentions to Utah. We knew my step-dad would be able to help us build a home there as well. So we packed up things and moved to Utah. We lived with my parents for two years, while we bought some land and built a home. My husband was very financially saavy, and wanted to buy a piece of property as an investment.  The best outlook was Davis County, so we focused our search there.  He was also cheap, and the cheapest piece was either a hillside in Bountiful or a gradual hillside piece in Farmington.  The unknown excavation costs scared my husband to death, so we chose the lesser of the two evils, Farmington. 

I was a little leery about coming back to Utah, but I had chosen to become a stay at home mother, and knew my husband would be carrying the financial load of our family all by himself, so I kept my reservations to myself as he worked out numbers.  The memories here were painful.  I felt like I would be bombarded with remembrances around every bend. And yes, it did happen for a while.  But new memories and a growing family replaced old memories. My circle of friends and neighbors grew as I rubbed shoulders with them in church and the community.  My love and respect for the many good men and women around me took root and grew deep.  As time went on, the old memories lost their pain.   It got to a point where I felt like I could not ever leave this place.  My husband wanted to at different times, never content to be in one place for too long, but I stood my ground.  I needed a solid foundation for my children and not have them uprooted like I had been as a child.  And then those around me became a solid support as my marriage started ebbing and flowing away into oblivion after many years of neglect and abuse.  The emotional pain was exquisite all over again, but this time was different.  I felt well loved and accepted by my friends and neighbors here, and I couldn’t imagine leaving and going somewhere where I was unknown and a stranger.  There were so many invisible bonds tying me to these people. I guess this is why I felt I was led to Farmington. The people in my neighborhood are some of the best people I have ever known. And not just one or two, but many many people. I felt led to this "fertile part" of the land where so many good souls became a part of my life to assist me in my journey.  I eventually got to a point where I felt I could cut those apron strings and move on, but as my blessings kept flowing in, I was able to keep my home after the divorce and stay amidst these people.  And I try my best to now take part as a more independent member of this community looking for ways to give back and help someone else who was led here for the same purpose.  The God I worship leads us to the most fertile parts of the land.

1 Nephi 16:8 Pressed Down, Shaken Together and Overflowing

"And thus my father had fulfilled all the commandments of the Lord which had been given unto him. And also, I, Nephi, had been blessed of the Lord exceedingly."

I have a personal testimony of this quality of God. I had been a stay at home mom for 24 years by the time my two youngest were in high school.  My husband had been pressuring me to get a job for some time. My daughter was suicidal, and I was making myself available to come to her rescue at anytime of the day. School was brutal for her, and for a time I was driving down every day at lunch hour to spend that hour with her. 

Out of the blue, a neighbor called to ask if I was interested in a part-time job. I wasn’t interested at all, and had no intention of looking for a job at this time. I had plenty on my plate, and my husband made more than enough money for us. We enjoyed a nice lifestyle, and I didn’t see the necessity of working outside the home. I worked 24/7 inside the home!   I politely thanked her for thinking of me and said I would think about it.   My friend called back 30 minutes later and asked if I would please just come in and talk to her boss. I laughed and told her I would. 

I threw on a dress the next morning and showed up at their office, five minutes away from my home. I had only just remember that morning that I didn’t even have a resume. I told myself I was just gathering information. I sat down with the owner and the office manager.   They explained the scope of their company, and what my duties would be.  The office manager left for a phone call and the owner started talking about compensation. Now prior to this, when I thought about working, I knew I could never get a job that would pay over $10. I didn’t have a college education, and figured the best I could do was work at a 7-Eleven or Walmart. But in my mind I had had a lot of life experiences and would not work out of the home under $11. When the owner asked me point blank what hourly amount I was considering, I blurted out $12 an hour, surprising myself. He said, "Well, we wanted to offer $13 an hour."   I think I was a little shocked. I never thought I was worth this much money. Sounds ludicrous today to say that out loud, but it’s true.   I asked him if I could think about it. 

I went home and told my husband I had been offered a job. I asked him why he thought it was so important that I work right now at this time. He told me that God told him I should get a job. I did all in my power not to roll my eyes. He was not living in a way consistent with having the Spirit tell him anything, let alone tell him anything regarding me. All this did was just make me angry. The next day I accepted the job and started working part time. I had told the owner in the interview that my family came first, and if my daughter needed me for any reason, I would need to leave immediately. They were behind me all the way, and letting me know that they also believed family came first, and that as long as I got my work done, they wouldn’t mind if things came up. They were very, very supportive. 

This job has been an exceeding blessing ever since. The people I work with became a second support group that built up my starving emotional tank and they verbally valued my work regularly. The bonuses were generous, the compliments genuine. After a couple years, my friend retired and I was offered a full-time position. I was given a nice raise, and after my divorce, my boss gave me another raise so I might be able to stay working for his company and still be able to support myself. I had always wanted to be a full-time mom and full-time grandma after the first decade of staying home with my children. I had no interest whatsoever in working. But this job was truly a blessing in disguise, and I had no idea at the time that events would lead me to ask for a divorce and separate from my husband in every possible way. I feel like I have tried the most part of my life to be obedient to God's commandments, to do the best of my ability. I feel like he has blessed me exceedingly, pressed down what was in my cup, shaken it to get things settled down even more, then kept my cup overflowing.

1 Nephi 13:18 Going Into Battle

"And I beheld that the power of God was with them, and also that the wrath of God was upon all those that were gathered together against them to battle." 

During most of the years of my past marriage, my husband hid money from me.  As our marriage started rapidly dissolving in the last few months, I knew I needed to get a better idea of our finances. He had never laid everything out to me, so I was in the dark for many years regarding our finances, our future financial plan -- anything but a partnership. We had a gun safe in our house, that had a smaller safe inside. I had the outer combination to get to important papers like Social Security cards or birth certificates for the kids, but I never had access to the cash we kept in the inner safe.  I knew it contained some cash, but I didn't know what else it held.   I also knew my husband well enough that if I even whispered the word "divorce" that cash would disappear. My husband was dishonest, obviously, and I knew I couldn’t just come out and ask him for an accounting. I had done that before, many times, not wanting anything inside, but out of fear that if anything were ever to happen to him, I would never have access to this emergency savings. He kept very little money in our savings account in the bank. 

One day at work, I was lamenting my situation to my coworker.  She  joked, "Google it." And so I did. Would you believe that all I had to do was email in the name brand, model and serial number, and they would email me the combination back?   Yes!  It only took me three hours to get the combination from the Internet. I don’t believe this was a coincidence. I feel like my friend was prompted to say what she said, to get me on the right track in getting what I needed. I was able to get inside the safe when my stbx was out of town. I had everything documented,  pictures taken and I had witnesses who signed affidavits.  The God I worship helps us in our battles.

1 Nephi 11:30 God Sends Angels

"And it came to pass that the angel spake unto me again, saying: Look! And I looked, and I beheld the heavens open again, and I saw angels descending upon the children of men; and they did minister unto them."

I've had several experiences with the angels that have crossed my path during different times of my life.  I know there are angels seen and unseen.  The story I want to share today is someone seen.  A few weeks after giving birth to my 3rd child, I was sitting in a rocking chair nursing.  My two-year-old sweet daughter leaned over me and said, "Momma, I not feel good."  And then she abruptly threw up all over me and the newborn baby.  It was not a good start to the day.

After cleaning us up, I was feeling particularly tired already and it wasn't even 10 a.m.  Then the phone rang.  A sweet grandma-aged neighbor two doors up just happened to call and asked me what I needed.  I kind of fell apart as I explained how my morning began.  She promptly came down, voluntarily scooped up my 4 year old son and took him to her house for several hours while they made cookies and played games.   That sweet gesture has forever made an impact on me.  Her sacrifice of time was especially meaningful, and the fact that she would give that attention to my son when she knew I would be putting the most of my attention on my two younger daughters that day was probably one of the best things she could have done for me so I wouldn't feel guilty about the unintended negligence.  The God I worship sends angels.  He knows our needs and will give us aid, even if we don't ask for it.  My life has been full of angelic and heavenly help that has come in all the right times and places.  

1 Nephi 11:27-28 Jesus Was Sent

"And I looked and beheld the Redeemer of the world, of whom my father had spoken; and I also beheld the prophet who should prepare the way before him. And the Lamb of God went forth and was baptized of him; and after he was baptized, I beheld the heavens open, and the Holy Ghost come down out of heaven and abide upon him in the form of a dove.  And I beheld that he went forth ministering unto the people, in power and great glory; and the multitudes were gathered together to hear him; and I beheld that they cast him out from among them."

In a dream, Nephi is blessed to see the Savior of the World in the Old World going forth among the Jewish people.  He was sent to show us the way to live and how to return back to Heaven.  His example in the scriptures show us plainly the way we should live in order to bring us the most amount of happiness during this mortal period.  He also shows us how to behave so we might become more like Him, thus more like our Father.  We follow His example by exercising faith and being baptized by immersion, like Jesus did.  We follow His example by forgiving, being kind and charitable.  We follow His example of being non-judgmental.  We follow His example of loving little children.  We follow His example by teaching others about His gospel.  We follow His example by praying to our Father.  We follow His example of great compassion on all those around us.  We follow His example of doing our best to help others heal.  We follow His example by helping people who are blind to the mysteries of God, "see" once more or for the very first time.  We follow His example of loving and fellowshipping others that might seem "dead" to spiritual things, that we might "raise them up" again.  We follow His example by turning from the temptations of the world and finding out what God's will is for us, then follow it.  The God I worship sent His Son as a sure example to follow.  

1 Nephi 10:18 God is the Same

"For he is the same yesterday, today, and forever; and the way is prepared for all men from the foundation of the world, if it so be that they repent and come unto him."

It is a great comfort in knowing that the God I read about in the scriptures is the same God that I worship today.  There are a myriad of scriptures in the Old & New Testament, the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine & Covenants that tells me He will be my strength and protector.  I read stories of his mercy and grace, and feel that He will treat me the same way.  I read stories of deliverance, aid and comforting the weary.  He promises guidance and direction and a Comforter.  I've experienced many of these things myself in this modern age and know His promises to be sure.  The God I worship has treated and will treat His children the same through all generations of time.

1 Nephi 7:12 Able To Do All Things

"Yea, and how is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him? Wherefore, let us be faithful to him."

In this part of Nephi's story, he and his brothers had just gone back to Jerusalem to get Ishmael's family.  They were fleeing into the wilderness, to be led by the Lord to a land of promise, away from the destruction of Jerusalem . . . so they needed wives if their colony was to survive.  Part of the way back to their camp, Nephi's brothers begin to complain along with some of Ishmael's family and they wanted to turn back to Jerusalem.  Yep, camping and journeying in the wilderness is hard work.  And they had forgotten about God's promises of not only Jerusalem being destroyed, but that they were going to a land of milk and honey, a land blessed above all the other lands of the earth.  They lacked the faith that God could help them get there.

When I think of God being able to do all things according to His will, I remember the Red Sea opening for Moses and the Children of Israel, Daniel in the lion's den, Elisha and the chariots of fire, David and Goliath, the fall of Jericho, and many, many other miracles in the Bible.   

There have been many miracles in our modern day as Jesus Christ has restored his Church in these last days.  There have been many geographic places on this earth where the opposition to build a temple was fierce -- or the opposition to allow missionaries in certain countries was fierce -- but we have always prevailed.  There was always a way through, and we know where the miracle came from.  The God I worship can do all things.    

I feel like there have been miracles in my own personal life because God can do all things if he wills it.  If He can move mountains, then He can help me pass a test or soften a heart. One experience in particular that was a cause of much heartache was the bearing of children.  When my husband and I were finding out about each other before we were married, trying to see if we were compatible and had similar goals, we talked about a future family and what that would look like.  Because he had virtually been an older child, he wanted a lot of kids and I did too.  

Well, after having only one child, he changed his mind to my great sorrow.  I felt like with each child that followed after, it was a great fight and battle to get another child into our home. It should have been a time of joy and happiness and a time of sharing and anticipating a new life, but it wasn't.  It was painful and I was emotionally drained by the time he finally relented to having another child.   It was especially frustrating for me because I was completely healthy, willing and emotionally capable of raising more than one or two children.  After our third, I knew he wasn't going to budge any more, and it broke my heart.  I knew we had the capability and the financial ability to bring more children into our home, and he wanted no part of it.  And then. . . . 

I started to exercise faith and I started to pray as if everything depended on those prayers.  I discovered a wonderful book about getting answers to prayer and I treated that book like a textbook, practicing line upon line, expanding my perspective, gaining hope, and finally submitting to God's will.  When you pray for something so desperately, the bottom line is it will only come from God if it's for your good.  I had to get to a place where I needed to completely trust in God that maybe it wasn't in my best interest to have that fourth child.  When my prayers finally turned from pleading to gratitude for the 3 beautiful children I had, when they turned from begging to my telling God that I would be okay if I didn't have any more children, that is when the miracle occurred.  The God I worship can do all things -- and He softened Bill's heart enough for him to suggest that we bring one more child into our home.  

I have four beautiful children.  They are my greatest treasures.  And now that I can look back with 20-20 vision, it was God's wisdom that we stopped when we did.  He definitely helped me get to a place where I felt my contribution as a mother was significant and enough, but he also knew what was coming down the road and needed me to be patient.

1 Nephi 5:8 We are Given Power to Be Obedient

"And she spake, saying: Now I know of a surety that the Lord hath commanded my husband to flee into the wilderness; yea, and I also know of a surety that the Lord hath protected my sons, and delivered them out of the hands of Laban, and given them power whereby they could accomplish the thing which the Lord hath commanded them. And after this manner of language did she speak."

Nephi's mother Sariah is speaking in the above scripture.  She had doubted her husband's calling as a prophet and had doubted her sons' deliverance, but when they arrived back at camp, her testimony was deepened of a God who can give power to help us accomplish His commandments.

Sometimes we are asked to do some tasks that seem larger than we are.  Right after I had my first child I opted to become a stay-at-home mom.  I quit my job and we were living on my husband's meager income in Sacramento.  We knew that our house payment was bigger than necessary, so we put our home on the market and waited.  And waited and waited.   The problem was that homes were not selling very fast in our community.  We were on the "down" turn side of the real estate market.  Our congregation at that time was growing beyond our building size and after many years we were finally given the okay to purchase land and build a new, larger building.  Back in these days, members were expected to pay for at least half the building.  Each member was asked to sacrifice and give an amount that "hurt."  My husband and I hardly had two dimes to rub together, let alone give a donation to the building fund.  What were we going to do?  We decided to give $500.  We didn't know how things were going to play out, but we donated it anyway, exercising faith that things would work out for our good.  It was soon after that our home had an offer placed on it.  We were able to sell and move to a less expensive area, not even enjoying the fruits of the new church building.  But that was okay.  We were still in a position to keep me at home with our son.   The God I worship gives us power to accomplish His commandments.  There are things we believe, and there are things we know.  This I KNOW -- God gives us power to accomplish His commandments.

1 Nephi 4:31 He Will Bless Us With Additional Strength

"And now I, Nephi, being a man large in stature, and also having received much strength of the Lord, therefore I did seize upon the servant of Laban, and held him, that he should not flee."

Although Nephi calls himself a man in this scripture, he is a young man, having been blessed with a large stature.  He is still under the care of his parents, so we know he is not a mature adult.  In this part of the story, Nephi had disguised himself as Laban, had Laban's servant bring him the plates of brass, then asked the servant of Laban to go with him to the outer city wall, where Nephi's brothers were hiding.  The scripture above follows when Laban's servant finally discovers Nephi's true identity and turns to flee.  Nephi received "much strength from the Lord."   
I have had many experiences where I've felt the Lord strengthening me.  I spent a lot of years trying to carry all my burdens alone, trying to be independent.  It wasn't until I gained a greater knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ that I learned that I didn't have to go through this mortal experience alone and burdened.  Running track in school exhausted me, studying to keep straight A's exhausted me, working at a tree farm as a youth exhausted me, being married to a narcissist exhausted me, and feeling like a single parent, even though married, exhausted me.  We all have those "things" that exhaust us and zap our energy and sometimes even our will to keep going.  I have had several experiences where I've been in sacred places and was able to hear words of wisdom that buoyed me up to keep going another day.  Sometimes it was something I read, sometimes it was something in a piece of music I listened to.  I do not believe in coincidences -- so I don't believe that I "coincidentally" heard those things that helped so much.  The God I worship knows how to strengthen me in very personal ways, and I have a testimony that He is our best Supporter and Protector.  He truly is our Father in Heaven, a perfect Father who knows what my needs are.  

1 Nephi 4:7-8 He Will Deliver Us From Our Enemies

"Nevertheless I went forth, and as I came near unto the house of Laban I beheld a man, and he had fallen to the earth before me, for he was drunken with wine.   And when I came to him I found that it was Laban."

As we continue the story of Nephi, he let himself be led by the Spirit of God into the city Jerusalem and found Laban, drunk, passed out and all alone.  Laban was the man who had tried to kill Nephi and his brothers twice, had stolen many riches and treasure from them, and refused to give them the plates of brass.  As we can see from these verses, God had delivered Laban into Nephi's hands, and Nephi was able to obtain the plates of brass and return with his brothers to his family.  

I had never had an enemy in my life until I filed for divorce.  I had hoped it would have been civil, but it was anything but.  It was disheartening in a way because it was like the previous 30 years had never happened.  What it did was show the true colors of my husband, and even though I had always suspected his duplicity, I hoped that I had been wrong.  I wasn't.  From the beginning of the filing he began to steal things from the home while I was away at work. In general, husbands leave the home during a divorce, especially when there are still children living there, but my husband was anything but the general kind.  He refused to leave, although he had choices available to him.  Many people reached out and offered, but No.    He got a storage unit outside our city and just started carting things off, thinking I didn't notice.  Unbeknownst to him, I had taken pictures of our entire home and its contents before I told him I filed.  He was also threatening me with a prolonged divorce, which promise he made good on.  He also stopped contributing to the family checking account and laid all the home's expenses and taxes and all insurances on my shoulders.   My youngest son still lived with us and it wasn't like I could let the electricity lapse.  The final straw for me, though, was that he started coming into my personal space and stealing personal items of mine.  I had my Dad come into our home and put a keyed lock on my bedroom door so I could leave home in peace, and not spend the day wondering what he'd take next.  One time I was in the kitchen when he came in and took the food I was preparing right out of my hands.  I couldn't live like this any longer.  I wasn't making an income sufficient to rent an apartment, so that wasn't an option for me.  For personal reasons, I couldn't move back in with my parents.  

And then a way opened -- two very good friends of mine opened their home to me.  By this time my son had moved in with his sister in their own apartment, so it was just me.  This family gave me a spacious room and more than that . . . . a spacious place of rest that was filled with peace and love and lots of caring.  The constant buffetings of my husband had worn me out, and these two precious souls bolstered, loved, supported, and gave me everything I needed at this time.   It was a joy to spend time with them in their home, and when all was said and done, and I was ready to move back into my own home that was awarded to me in the divorce, it was hard to leave.  They had become an integral part of my daily existence.   To me, this couple opening up their home to me was my being rescued from my enemy.  The God I worship prepares a way for our deliverance, and can even inspire the best people to reach out and save.

1 Nephi 4:6 He will Lead by the Spirit

"And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do."

Nephi had faith that the way would be prepared for him to accomplish God's task.  He and his brothers had tried twice to get the plates of Laban, and twice they were rejected and threatened with death.  But Nephi's faith was unwavering and he tried yet a third time to get the plates.  He did not know what to do differently than what they did the first two times, so He put it into God's hands and let the Spirit guide him.  And he was successful.

For me, I like to have everything planned and ready for any journey or task that I'm setting out to do.  It's comfortable, it's safe.  But there have been times when my carefully orchestrated plans have been turned upside down and shaken a little, falling to pieces on the floor and so disorganized that I didn't know what to do or how to accomplish something.  It's not very hard in our day and age to become super-human multi-taskers and overwhelmed by everything when one thing goes out of whack.   A supernal gift of God is that of the Holy Ghost to guide us.  The Holy Ghost is commissioned from Heaven, and what better guide can you have than one that's divine?  His ways will always be better than my own.  Yes, we have to learn how to listen.  Yes, we have to learn how to recognize His Voice, but I know it's possible.  I know we can have undeniable communication with Him.  The God I worship has given us the gift of the Holy Ghost to help guide us when we are lacking.

1 Nephi 4:1 Mightier than All the Earth

"And it came to pass that I spake unto my brethren, saying: Let us go up again unto Jerusalem, and let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord; for behold he is mightier than all the earth, then why not mightier than Laban and his fifty, yea, or even than his tens of thousands?"

At this point in the story, Nephi and his brothers had failed twice in their attempt to get valuable written records from an important man, trying to obey a commandment from God.  Twice that man attempted to take their lives, but they escaped.  Nephi's brothers are afraid because this man, Laban, can command 50 soldiers in a moment and they do not want to go back and try again.  I love Nephi's comment "let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord; for behold he is mightier than all the earth..."   There are times when we come in contact with someone who holds quite a bit of influence and power, and doesn't quite use it for good.  He can be  manipulative, conniving, cheat and perhaps is used to bullying to get his way.  But when you pit this man against God and His Son, Jesus Christ, the Creators of everything that is, our enemies really come off lacking.  They are nothing.  God created the elements of the weapons that men use.  God engineered the design of the tongue and throat of which men use to threaten. He designed the brain that men use to think and reason.  He holds the power of the elements in His hands -- water, wind, fire, earth -- and uses them to chasten mortals.  How puny is man when you think of God in this way?  The God I worship is all-powerful, mightier than ALL men and "mightier than all the earth".

Don't forget the story in 2nd Kings of Elisha, when he asks the Lord to open his servant's eyes that he might see that the hills are filled with chariots of fire on their behalf, that God smote the opposing army with blindness.  These are not just stories -- these were real events.  When we stand on the Lord's side of the line, there is always more power held by those who stand with us, than those who don't.

Enemies might hedge our way at times -- and sometimes they may seem to always win.
But when I remember who God is and what He's capable of doing, then it's easier to exercise the faith necessary to believe that He will help us in our endeavors, He will make a pathway through. We can have our own hills surrounded by chariots of fire, ready and waiting to come forth to rescue us.  When we are on the Lord's errand, we can always have faith that "for they that be with us are more than they that be with them." (2nd Kings 6:16)  Strive to live in a way that your eyes may always be opened to this vision and peace.  

1 Nephi 3:29 Why Didn't God Intervene? PART III

(continued from previous post)

For our good:  There is an age-old question of "Why do bad things happen to good people?"  Recently I attended an event where a quadriplegic woman spoke.  She was absolutely amazing and motivating to listen to for the hour we had.  Her take-home message was "I love my life!"   This shocked me.

It seemed unbelievable when you think of all the things that she COULD NOT DO.  But she was sincere and honest and straightforward.  She had come to a point in her life where she could find humor in places where she might have wanted to cry. She shared a dream she had one night, which touched me deeply.  She was sitting in heaven with another person in a pre-mortal setting, going through a book that showcased her life.  It showed her that she would be a quadriplegic, and she was EXCITED.  She was overjoyed to learn what her challenges would be and her opportunity to overcome them.  

Her perspective helped me greatly.  What if my challenges in this life were tailored to fit my exact needs?  What if my struggles were the only things that challenged me to grow, stretch, develop to a higher plane?  

What if I experienced what my neighbor experienced and I breezed through the test?  How much growth would happen?  None.  

I collect nuggets of truth -- and listening to that quadriplegic woman added another nugget of truth to my life.  We are given what we need.  As unpleasant as things can be, as heart-rending, as painful, as soul-searching . . . . we are given what we need.  We don't always understand the Why's, but when you come to get a small glimpse of the God who loves us, we begin to trust Him that He knows the Why.  He does.  He knows us that intimately.

1 Nephi 3:29 Why Didn't God Intervene? PART II

(continued from last post)

Consequences:  But at the same time, I think we can abuse the privileges of this life.  We can willfully be reckless, ingest harmful substances that disorient us and take away our freedom, do stupid things.  I think we have a responsibility to choose wisely with the knowledge and information we have been given.  

I don't believe God will take away the consequences of my willful choices -- he's not going to magically erase the effects of too many trips to McDonald's and the laziness that keeps me from the morning jog.  I know how to take care of my body, and if I end up with heart disease or diabetes, I know whose fault it will be.  If I choose to drive with a heavy foot, I then choose the possibility of an ugly accident or a speeding ticket.  If I choose mind-altering drugs, then I also choose the possibility of having someone take advantage of me or act in some way that will harm others.  If I choose to treat someone with ugliness, then I also choose the quality of that relationship, if there's one left.  One of God's greatest gifts to us was our having the ability to choose, and He's not going to interfere with the consequences of those choices.  Some of us have to learn by the School of Hard Knocks, and life is a wonderful teacher.  God will not take those teaching moments away, no matter how difficult.

The God I worship respects my choices and let's me live with the consequences-- not as a punishment, but as a learning tool.

1 Nephi 3:29 Why Didn't God Intervene? PART I

1 Nephi 3:29   "And it came to pass as they smote us with a rod, behold, an angel of the Lord came and stood before them, and he spake unto them, saying: Why do ye smite your younger brother with a rod? Know ye not that the Lord hath chosen him to be a ruler over you, and this because of your iniquities? Behold ye shall go up to Jerusalem again, and the Lord will deliver Laban into your hands."

(PART 1) The God I worship intervenes and protects, when it's in our best interest.  In this part of Nephi's story, his older brothers were very angry with him, frustrated at their failed attempts to get important writings from Laban, and took their frustrations out on their younger brothers by beating them with a rod.  In a nutshell, an angel was sent to intervene, the beating stopped and Nephi was successful at getting the important writings.  

So tonight, as I'm pondering this verse for the umpteenth time, my statement seems to beg the question, "Well, what about when He doesn't intervene?"  

I think sometimes people think God is a puppeteer, that we are all attached with strings and He can make things happen, or not happen, down here on earth.  If He can send an angel for Nephi, why didn't he send an angel to me when I needed one?  If he can intervene, why doesn't He intervene all the time and protect innocents?  Why doesn't he stop the freak accidents or man's inhumanity to man?  

I have a few thoughts about this, and I'll share what I feel, but it will have to be over a couple blog posts.

Interference:  We live in a fallen, mortal world.  Accidents happen and we make mistakes because of our weaknesses.  Sometimes we are afflicted because of other people's weaknesses or errors or mistakes or ignorance.  I believe God can intervene and protect us.  I know there have been multiple times driving when I've barely avoided an accident, either by my own negligence or others' negligence.  I believe there's help on the other side of the veil that tries to guide us, whisper warnings or impressions or conjure up miracles.  I firmly believe that we all have an allotted time here, and if we don't abuse it, we can be protected by the follies we experience. I don't see this scenario as God patiently standing by, waiting for something awful to happen, and then swooping in to save the day.  No.  I believe He knows mankind so well that he knows what kinds of decisions will be made and what repercussions will come from those decisions.  I think he can inspire people to be instruments in His hands to help others.  I think He can prepare and direct angels, seen and unseen,  to help us when needed.