1 Nephi 17:13 Two Steps Ahead

"And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led."

I know that God can lead us along if we let him.  Part of that is trying to stay as close as possible to Him. That requires trust and faith in a Being that you cannot see -- but you can feel Him.  I cannot enumerate here all the many times in my divorce where I was guided and led due to kind friends and concerned children who would tell me what my husband was up to. This was a very ugly divorce, full of dishonesty and mischief.  Because I knew about some of these things ahead of time, I was able to put myself in a position to protect myself and prepare.   I remember his frustration at times, thinking I was always two steps of head of him. But it literally was like that. I don’t think this was coincidence. I think God was leading me along this whole process.  He led me to a wonderfully blissful promised land, and I feel grateful for His care.  The God I worship will lead us along if we let Him.

1 Nephi 7:12 Able To Do All Things

"Yea, and how is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him? Wherefore, let us be faithful to him."

In this part of Nephi's story, he and his brothers had just gone back to Jerusalem to get Ishmael's family.  They were fleeing into the wilderness, to be led by the Lord to a land of promise, away from the destruction of Jerusalem . . . so they needed wives if their colony was to survive.  Part of the way back to their camp, Nephi's brothers begin to complain along with some of Ishmael's family and they wanted to turn back to Jerusalem.  Yep, camping and journeying in the wilderness is hard work.  And they had forgotten about God's promises of not only Jerusalem being destroyed, but that they were going to a land of milk and honey, a land blessed above all the other lands of the earth.  They lacked the faith that God could help them get there.

When I think of God being able to do all things according to His will, I remember the Red Sea opening for Moses and the Children of Israel, Daniel in the lion's den, Elisha and the chariots of fire, David and Goliath, the fall of Jericho, and many, many other miracles in the Bible.   

There have been many miracles in our modern day as Jesus Christ has restored his Church in these last days.  There have been many geographic places on this earth where the opposition to build a temple was fierce -- or the opposition to allow missionaries in certain countries was fierce -- but we have always prevailed.  There was always a way through, and we know where the miracle came from.  The God I worship can do all things.    

I feel like there have been miracles in my own personal life because God can do all things if he wills it.  If He can move mountains, then He can help me pass a test or soften a heart. One experience in particular that was a cause of much heartache was the bearing of children.  When my husband and I were finding out about each other before we were married, trying to see if we were compatible and had similar goals, we talked about a future family and what that would look like.  Because he had virtually been an older child, he wanted a lot of kids and I did too.  

Well, after having only one child, he changed his mind to my great sorrow.  I felt like with each child that followed after, it was a great fight and battle to get another child into our home. It should have been a time of joy and happiness and a time of sharing and anticipating a new life, but it wasn't.  It was painful and I was emotionally drained by the time he finally relented to having another child.   It was especially frustrating for me because I was completely healthy, willing and emotionally capable of raising more than one or two children.  After our third, I knew he wasn't going to budge any more, and it broke my heart.  I knew we had the capability and the financial ability to bring more children into our home, and he wanted no part of it.  And then. . . . 

I started to exercise faith and I started to pray as if everything depended on those prayers.  I discovered a wonderful book about getting answers to prayer and I treated that book like a textbook, practicing line upon line, expanding my perspective, gaining hope, and finally submitting to God's will.  When you pray for something so desperately, the bottom line is it will only come from God if it's for your good.  I had to get to a place where I needed to completely trust in God that maybe it wasn't in my best interest to have that fourth child.  When my prayers finally turned from pleading to gratitude for the 3 beautiful children I had, when they turned from begging to my telling God that I would be okay if I didn't have any more children, that is when the miracle occurred.  The God I worship can do all things -- and He softened Bill's heart enough for him to suggest that we bring one more child into our home.  

I have four beautiful children.  They are my greatest treasures.  And now that I can look back with 20-20 vision, it was God's wisdom that we stopped when we did.  He definitely helped me get to a place where I felt my contribution as a mother was significant and enough, but he also knew what was coming down the road and needed me to be patient.

1 Nephi 4:6 He will Lead by the Spirit

"And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do."

Nephi had faith that the way would be prepared for him to accomplish God's task.  He and his brothers had tried twice to get the plates of Laban, and twice they were rejected and threatened with death.  But Nephi's faith was unwavering and he tried yet a third time to get the plates.  He did not know what to do differently than what they did the first two times, so He put it into God's hands and let the Spirit guide him.  And he was successful.

For me, I like to have everything planned and ready for any journey or task that I'm setting out to do.  It's comfortable, it's safe.  But there have been times when my carefully orchestrated plans have been turned upside down and shaken a little, falling to pieces on the floor and so disorganized that I didn't know what to do or how to accomplish something.  It's not very hard in our day and age to become super-human multi-taskers and overwhelmed by everything when one thing goes out of whack.   A supernal gift of God is that of the Holy Ghost to guide us.  The Holy Ghost is commissioned from Heaven, and what better guide can you have than one that's divine?  His ways will always be better than my own.  Yes, we have to learn how to listen.  Yes, we have to learn how to recognize His Voice, but I know it's possible.  I know we can have undeniable communication with Him.  The God I worship has given us the gift of the Holy Ghost to help guide us when we are lacking.

1 Nephi 3:29 Why Didn't God Intervene? PART III

(continued from previous post)

For our good:  There is an age-old question of "Why do bad things happen to good people?"  Recently I attended an event where a quadriplegic woman spoke.  She was absolutely amazing and motivating to listen to for the hour we had.  Her take-home message was "I love my life!"   This shocked me.

It seemed unbelievable when you think of all the things that she COULD NOT DO.  But she was sincere and honest and straightforward.  She had come to a point in her life where she could find humor in places where she might have wanted to cry. She shared a dream she had one night, which touched me deeply.  She was sitting in heaven with another person in a pre-mortal setting, going through a book that showcased her life.  It showed her that she would be a quadriplegic, and she was EXCITED.  She was overjoyed to learn what her challenges would be and her opportunity to overcome them.  

Her perspective helped me greatly.  What if my challenges in this life were tailored to fit my exact needs?  What if my struggles were the only things that challenged me to grow, stretch, develop to a higher plane?  

What if I experienced what my neighbor experienced and I breezed through the test?  How much growth would happen?  None.  

I collect nuggets of truth -- and listening to that quadriplegic woman added another nugget of truth to my life.  We are given what we need.  As unpleasant as things can be, as heart-rending, as painful, as soul-searching . . . . we are given what we need.  We don't always understand the Why's, but when you come to get a small glimpse of the God who loves us, we begin to trust Him that He knows the Why.  He does.  He knows us that intimately.

1 Nephi 3:7 He Prepares A Way

1 Nephi 3:7  "And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."

Sometimes we are asked to do difficult things.  If they have anything to do with being obedient, I know that there are ways prepared for us to accomplish those things.  Those situations may stretch us, stretch our beliefs, stretch our minds, stretch our hearts.  But those experiences are never impossible.  We are the only ones who make them impossible, and sometimes we get in our own way.  It sometimes takes a few steps of faith into total darkness to propel us forward before we can find the sure footing that's there.  

I used to be one of those people who wanted a sure, clear path before her.  I wanted everything spelled out and I wanted to be prepared for what came next.  It was only in the experience of having my world turned upside down that I had to take this walk of faith of which I speak.  

After 30 years of marriage, the confirmation finally came that I needed to part ways with my ex-husband.  I no longer knew what my future held; I no longer could see a few months ahead.  My comfortableness of having my future financially secure was taken away and I couldn't see how finances would work out.  I wasn't sure where I was going to live.  I had never been a burden to society and I didn't want to start now!  

So I lived a day at a time, an hour at a time.  My security became a deeper faith in my God, who had promised to provide if I did my part.  It was difficult -- I felt displaced, unsure of myself.  I wasn't scared, but uncomfortable at not knowing.  Over time I felt at peace at not knowing.  I became 'okay' with not having everything figured out.  People used to ask me my future plans, and all I could answer was "I can't see that far anymore."   I still can't see very far in the future, but doors and windows have slowly opened up for me again.  I'm able to financially support myself and my children.  I'm back in my home and know I can afford to stay there if I need to.  I'm making goals and plans and working towards those things.  I'm no longer in a limbo state and I'm putting together a future.  I love where I'm at, but I hope to never forget where I've been.  

My testimony of my Father in Heaven and his infinite love and concern are etched ever deeper on my soul.  He asked me to walk into the darkness and He guided me onto a more sure, safer, healthier path.  The God I worship prepares all scenarios ahead of me, He makes the way possible even though at times I can't see the next step ahead.