"And he spake unto me again, saying: Look! And I looked, and I beheld the Lamb of God going forth among the children of men. And I beheld multitudes of people who were sick, and who were afflicted with all manner of diseases, and with devils and unclean spirits; and the angel spake and showed all these things unto me. And they were healed by the power of the Lamb of God; and the devils and the unclean spirits were cast out."
This is another part of Nephi's dream where he sees the Savior going forth among the people in the Old World and healing their sick. Heavenly Father sent His Son to heal us -- heal us from broken hearts, hurt pride, injustices, afflictions, disappointments, tragedies. His healing power can reach down through all levels of pain if we let Him. He can heal marriages, He can heal families.
I've mentioned before that I am recently divorced. I grew up in a divorced family, and one thing that I hated was the bitterness between my parents. Knowing how my mom felt, I felt so much guilt for wanting to spend time with my father, for looking forward to our summer visits. I felt even more guilt as I chose to move in with him after I graduated from high school. Even after 40-something years, every once in awhile you'd hear a snide comment. There were times when I wanted to shake her and say, 'Grow up!' What was more infuriating was that the divorce was all her choice. I didn't understand the bitterness and I knew I didn't want to have those feelings in my own life. A few weeks after I initiated my own divorce, my friend asked me if I was going to turn into one of those 'bitter divorcees'. Knowing my nature and my past history, I didn't think it was even possible. I'm one of the most peaceful kind of people I know, having no known enemies and feeling great compassion for people as a whole.
And then my stbx husband unleashed all his fury and hatred on me. It was like his true colors were immediately unveiled and he did everything in his power to hurt me, lied about me to my friends and neighbors and children, trying to turn them against me, and started removing things from our home while I worked during the day. Those 11 months were the hardest I'd ever had in my life up to that point, and that was his goal. He prolonged the divorce for no viable reasons, thus creating more attorney fees. After my home was awarded to me, it cost me another $400 in attorney fees just to get him to move out. I think I had every reason to hold bitterness in my heart. But I had never forgotten what my neighbor asked me from the very beginning.... "are you going to become one of those 'bitter divorcees"?
So I took my hurts to God. He helped me rise above the pettiness and do my best to act with grace and civility. He gave me the strength and faith to believe that everything would turn out as it should, and that He would make everything right. He kept my heart soft and forgiving, and helped me understand how mentally and emotionally sick my husband was. Helping me to further understand that my husband was projecting his self-loathing on to me aided me immensely. I don't want to paint a picture that I didn't have feelings of hurt or anger or bitterness. The difference was that those feelings didn't stay. They evaporated as I tried very hard to stay close to God and listen for His direction. The God I worship healed my hurts and reminded me that only His opinion of me mattered. I felt He helped others remember my true character, because I am still loved by many with the exception of his close work associates, who don't know me at all and chose to believe everything my husband reported. It has been so satisfying to reflect on the status of my heart and realize that I have no ill feelings towards my ex-husband. I choose to not communicate with him as a safety precaution, but that doesn't mean I haven't forgiven him.
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