2 Nephi 6:17 Contends With My Enemies

"But thus saith the Lord: Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away, and the prey of the terrible shall be delivered; for the Mighty God shall deliver his covenant people. For thus saith the Lord: I will contend with them that contendeth with thee—"

(Context:  Nephi's brother Jacob is preaching to his people and is quoting Isaiah.)

I felt very blessed in my choice of a good divorce lawyer, and I also felt blessed in how the decision came about. I did not know of anyone personally, and Googling recommendations were really difficult when you’re just going by the reviews. Different women’s experiences were different all over. When I was talking to a coworker about this difficult decision, she said, "Why don’t you try mine? I had to get one for my sister last year and felt that he was really good."

She gave me a few more facts about where he worked, and I decided to go get a free consultation. After the consultation, I felt really good about him and his firm. It was a firm that pretty much represented men, but he assured me he would represent me and protect me the same as them, plus it gave me an edge that they knew so much about the men’s side of things. When I got back to the office and told my coworker about this lawyer and my decision, she said, "Oh good! I taught him piano when he was young, he grew up in my neighborhood."   I had no idea that this relationship existed, and she purposely didn’t tell me so I wouldn’t be swayed by that personal note. My lawyer ended up being a bulldog, and protected me every inch of the way. I felt led by God to choose him and through him He contended against my enemies.  I don't feel like divorces have to be treated as enemies, but in my case and circumstances, we had to defend and protect.

2 Nephi 5:5 Time to Flee

"And it came to pass that the Lord did warn me, that I, Nephi, should depart from them and flee into the wilderness, and all those who would go with me."

(The context of this verse takes place after Nephi's father has died and contention is escalating in his family.  He is warned to flee from his murderous brothers and does so with all who shared his same beliefs.)

When events got to an unbearable point in my divorce, it became necessary to lock my own bedroom door, to keep myself protected from my stbx.  My husband refused to leave our home, which I thought was the common behavior among couples getting a divorce.  So I began quietly asking around to find a place to go to with my son, but I didn’t know how I could. I knew he would fight me tooth and nail for anything I wanted to take out of the home, even though he felt perfectly fine taking things from the home when I was at work. (I learned that he had a couple storage units) 

My husband rarely took vacations, always the excuse of 'having to work' and 'can't afford to take the time off', even though he was self-employed and dictated his own schedule and made a very nice income.  I felt stuck that he never left home while I was there.  During the divorce, my husband quickly hooked up with another woman. It was all done in supposed secret, but I couldn’t help overhearing several conversations and also seeing text message conversations as he sat right beside me at my son & daughter's graduation.  I had learned through back doors that he was planning a singles cruise with her.  When this knowledge came to me, I felt the strongest impression that this was the time to move. I fully believe that impression came from God. 

An hour after he left for the flight, I had a small army come help me pack what I needed. I had been in that home for 24 years, yet I had every needful thing packed and ready to go and a storage shed rented in five days time. I had to document everything to make sure the lawyers knew what was going on. I had to make the decision of what was fair and what was not.  I felt I left him with the majority of the house possessions so I could not be accused of anything untoward.   It was important to me that while he behaved unethically, that didn't mean that I was going to.  My counselor suggested I rise above and act with dignity and grace, and I fully wanted to.  I didn't want to act out of spite, revenge or bitterness, even though it was hard to fight those natural feelings.  But that's another topic . . . 

Just like God warned Joseph to take his holy family to Egypt to flee Herod's killing spree, I know He will warn us too in our times of need.  I wasn't warned in a dream and my son wasn't the Savior, but I knew where that prompting and impression came from.  The God I worship loves me just as much as He loved Joseph and his family.

1 Nephi 22:12 Out of Darkness

"Wherefore, he will bring them again out of captivity, and they shall be gathered together to the lands of their inheritance; and they shall be brought out of obscurity and out of darkness; and they shall know that the Lord is their Savior and their Redeemer, the Mighty One of Israel."

I know that God helps us when we get in situations that are pretty dark. I remember a time when I was 15 and felt surrounded by darkness and misery. I remember being very lonely and did not have the support and emotional connection of parents to help me through this time. I remember feeling suicidal at times, but knowing better enough that I didn’t attempt or make any moves toward that end. What I do remember was kneeling down one night, pleading for I don't know what... I guess just an end to the misery I was feeling inside, the feeling of being invisible.  My pleading became wordless as torrent of tears fell and I didn't have any more words.  Then . . . God’s love washed over me.  I physically felt two arms wrap around me and hold me while I cried. There was so much heartache, and so much sadness to let out. In the morning I felt very peaceful, and had a deep assurance that I was loved very much by my Heavenly Father.  He knew who I was and what troubled my heart.  This was the beginning of my coming out of darkness into light. He shows us the path to follow to better days and lasting joy, and I tried my best to do what he asked of me and then I reaped the rewards. I have never visited that darkness again, ever. The God I worship brought me forth out of that darkness.

1 Nephi 21:16 Never Forgotten

"Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."
This is actually Nephi quoting Isaiah, but for those of you who haven't ever been in that book . . . .

I remember a very difficult time in my life a couple years ago, when my husband announced he would stop putting money into the joint checking account, that he was no longer willing to pay for our health insurance, which my children were still on, no longer willing to pay our home utility bills, home insurance, car insurance and property taxes. This was at a period of time when our divorce started getting very ugly. We had tried to stay in the same home and be civil about things, but it wasn’t too long before things became anything but civil. I will never forget the day I went out to the mailbox and there was a blank envelope with my name on it. When I opened it up, there was no note, but a cashier's check for $1000 made out to me. I was completely dumb struck and really couldn’t believe it. I didn’t feel I was on a poverty level yet, but I did need this money. Health insurance was expensive every month, and I wasn’t making enough money to carry all those bills myself. I do not believe this was a coincidence.  

There are myriads of examples of His personal attention.  Here's another story taken from a BYU devotional.  Andrew C. Skinner shared this:

I testify that our Father in Heaven cares about each of us, individually and personally. There are many examples of this doctrine that I could share, but my son Mark recently reminded me of one. Mark served a mission to Mongolia. He served with and developed a deep love for a senior missionary couple from Idaho. They used an interpreter their entire 18-month mission. Their interpreter—a Mongolian sister—had an important story to tell. She grew up in Mongolia. The missionaries found her and baptized her. When she joined the Church, she started saving money for a full-time mission. She received a call to one of the missions in the United States, but at that time she spoke almost no English. She got on a plane in Mongolia to come to the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah, knowing only three sentences in English:

“I am from Mongolia.”

“I am a missionary.”

“Please help me.”

When she got on the plane, no one had explained to her that she needed to change planes to complete the flight to Utah. She landed in Chicago, but, naturally, there was no one there to meet her and she didn’t know the language. She found a chair, sat down, and prayed to Heavenly Father to know what to do. She then got up to try to find help. As she was attempting to explain her predicament to a ticket agent (using her three English sentences), a man tapped her on the shoulder, pulled out his temple recommend, and showed it to her. She recognized the temple recommend because she had been given one before she left, so she knew this man at her side was a member of the Church. He motioned for her to wait. Ten minutes later he handed her his cell phone, and on the other end of the line was the missionary who had taught her the gospel in Mongolia. The missionary told her to follow the man to the plane to Salt Lake City and get on board. He told her there would be people to meet her in Salt Lake City—and there were!

Our Father in Heaven truly watches out for His children—very often through others. But that’s not the end of the story. The man in the Chicago airport was a businessman who has flown all over the world. He was upset that day because it was the first time he had missed his connecting flight to Salt Lake City. But because he was there at the Chicago airport, he overheard this Mongolian sister trying to get help, and he knew he could help her.

I testify, as others have, that our Father in Heaven not only answers prayers but at times chooses to micromanage the details of His kingdom. This, too, is part of His divine nature. But herein lies an important lesson. It is our Heavenly Father who chooses; we do not dictate to Him time, place, or circumstance. Still, we may rest assured that our Father knows all things and He does all that He does out of love."

I know the God I worship never forgets us.

1 Nephi 18:1 Clear Direction

"And it came to pass that they did worship the Lord, and did go forth with me; and we did work timbers of curious workmanship. And the Lord did show me from time to time after what manner I should work the timbers of the ship."

At this point in the story, Nephi is commanded to build a ship to carry his family across the ocean.  Nephi is not a shipbuilder, but he relies on the Lord for direction, and those directions came.

The God I worship gives clear direction. It was very difficult for me to make my decision to divorce. I did not make enough money to support myself and the needs of my children. My youngest two were not quite ready to support themselves, even though they were 18 and older. I remember making this decision a matter of mighty prayer. I really wanted God's help and direction and assurance that I was making the right decision. My mom had also divorced, but she divorced out of boredom, and I valued marriage more than that. I needed this decision to be right with me and to be right with God. I remember I went to a holy place often to ponder and think and to try to get an answer. On one particular day, I did get a clear-cut answer: it whispered to me, "There is no other way." That answer gave me comfort, but at the same time it didn’t give me a timeline! What did that mean? It took four more years until I was finally given the confirmation that now was the time. I didn’t use those four years to prepare for the divorce, but looking back now, I can see where doors and windows opened up for me that acted as a preparation, without me even knowing it. I did not give up on my marriage those past four years. I still continued to seek out professional counseling and tried to work things out with my husband with full faith that they would.  I'm so glad I did.  When the time came to take the first step, I needed that confirmation that I did all in my power to make the marriage work and to make myself available to fix whatever needed fixing.  The God I worship gives us clear direction when we ask and when it’s important to us.

1 Nephi 17:30 What I Needed

"And notwithstanding they being led, the Lord their God, their Redeemer, going before them, leading them by day and giving light unto them by night, and doing all things for them which were expedient for man to receive, they hardened their hearts and blinded their minds, and reviled against Moses and against the true and living God."

The part of this scripture that stood out to me was "doing all things for them which were expedient for man to receive."  The God I worship gives us all we need, not necessarily what we want. 

When you are young, you sometimes reflect about the future and what you want out of life.  When I compare those dreams to what I was given, what my life experiences have been, wanted and not wanted, I have concluded that the God I worship gives me what I need. These life experiences and situations have made me grow. They have stretched me in ways that I probably could not have been stretched otherwise. I think it is natural when we have these circumstances and experiences that are unpleasant to want them to stop and end, but I fully believe that we ought to really look at them in a way to see what we can gain from each of these things, to see how we can possibly grow to the best of our ability. I don’t think they are coincidental. I think our life here is tailored with exactly what we need to challenge us. 

For example, I did not like my parents being divorced when I was a small child, it brought much heart ache and loneliness. This is not what I wanted.  Could God have intervened and perhaps softened their hearts to stay together?  Possibly.  But He knew what I needed, and at the same time, honored their choices.  But having known those difficulties, I have become very compassionate with other people who share my experiences. I can let them know that I have walked in those moccasins and I know what it feels like. I can give them tools to find peace in what they have been given. God has allowed these experiences in my life so I can be an instrument in his hands to help others, as well as my own personal growth.  The God I worship gives me what I need, not necessarily what I want.

1 Nephi 17:13 Two Steps Ahead

"And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led."

I know that God can lead us along if we let him.  Part of that is trying to stay as close as possible to Him. That requires trust and faith in a Being that you cannot see -- but you can feel Him.  I cannot enumerate here all the many times in my divorce where I was guided and led due to kind friends and concerned children who would tell me what my husband was up to. This was a very ugly divorce, full of dishonesty and mischief.  Because I knew about some of these things ahead of time, I was able to put myself in a position to protect myself and prepare.   I remember his frustration at times, thinking I was always two steps of head of him. But it literally was like that. I don’t think this was coincidence. I think God was leading me along this whole process.  He led me to a wonderfully blissful promised land, and I feel grateful for His care.  The God I worship will lead us along if we let Him.